man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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