Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
