The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
