Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
