We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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