i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
