you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
