I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize