i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
