Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
