google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
