im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
someone owes me an orgasm
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
