mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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