His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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