Apparently you make a good broom.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
