how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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