His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize