you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
