I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
