ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
