Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Enjoy the penises
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
