so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize