i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
