We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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