So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize