Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
