did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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