i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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