I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
