I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
