This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
