And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
