She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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