What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
