I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Buhtt sex?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
