i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
