uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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