Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
