that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
