I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize