Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
