He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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