It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you still have your period?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
