i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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