I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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