I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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