I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Never underestimate the power of titties
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
