wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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