he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
