I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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