So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
