We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
