we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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