I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
