There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
