They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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