Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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